Fast cars, medical uncertainty and Gobbeldygook machines

Fast cars, medical uncertainty and Gobbeldygook machines

This machine turns medical information into a fog of nothing (Photo: Getty)

Good morning Cleveland Browns fans!

A chilly fall morning here in Cleveland is shrouded in mist. Well, no real fog, which would make driving difficult. Instead, it’s a metaphorical fog centered around the location of one Cleveland Browns head coach Kevin Stefanski.

Stefanski, you see, may not have about half of his starting defense available for Sunday: DE Myles Garrett (several injuries), Jadeveon Clowney (ankle), Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah (groin), Taven Bryan (hamstring), and Denzel Ward (back and ribs). This number excludes LB Anthony Walker, whose outstanding season has been derailed as he heads to the IR.

These injuries are potentially bad news for a defense going up against an impossibly successful attack by Atlanta Falcons behind Marcus Mariota (?!?) and receding (?!?) Cordarrelle Patterson. The Falcons have shown they can make the most of their roster constraints this season and are just starting to exploit 6’4” wide receiver Drake London and tough TE Kyle Pitts.

It is no trivial challenge to wait for the Browns in Atlanta in a game that looked eminently winning for the season. Thankfully, the Falcons’ defense hasn’t been great so far, allowing me to confidently predict the game will be a high-scoring affair. Of course, this means neither team will score more than 20, given the typical accuracy of my predictions.

Today’s newswire is mainly devoted to treating the injuries, with, unsurprisingly, a special focus on Myles Garrett and his situation after a car accident. Several outlets have reviewed arrest reports or other crime reporters and uncovered a series of arrests for Garrett for exceeding the speed limit in the recent past.

I am at the age where my wife is starting to accuse me of driving too slowly and carefully, so driving at the speeds Garrett drove during these stops is beyond my comprehension. But I hope this is a lesson for Garrett and that he will be more careful in the future. Cleveland needs him.

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