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Seahawks adding Jimmy Garoppolo would be like buying a used car

Seahawks adding Jimmy Garoppolo would be like buying a used car

The rumor mill never stops when it comes to Seahawks quarterbacks. The latest speculation is about Jimmy Garoppolo, and it’s no more believable than I get a third car. I checked my bank account and it’s not happening this week.

To be clear, I’m not comparing Jimmy G to a used car. Not quite anyway. What I’m saying is that the Niners QB is just as likely to appear on the sidelines of Seahawks as a Carmax SUV is in my garage. Especially since I don’t have a garage.

Okay, back to the Hawks. I have no doubt that a discussion has taken place. John Schneider has said that they discuss virtually every scenario and explore every possibility. That’s one of the reasons he’s done such a good job in Seattle. Naturally, they have discussed Get Garoppolo. That means nothing.

However, let’s relate this to a domestic situation, for a better perspective. I imagine it wouldn’t be much different from this fever dream. The setting: 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. Our dramatis personae: Homer and Marge. Matt Groening would have made this 743 times better, but it won’t work for scale, so here’s what you get.

Seahawks need Garoppolo like I need a 2014 Canyonero

“Homer, we already have one, and you just got that Road Runner a few months ago.”
“But Marge, Krusty is selling his Canyonero! I saw it on Burnslist, and -‘
“You know full well he can’t keep that thing going, Homer. He has it in the shop almost as often as he drives it. And Ned said Rod and Todd saw Krusty riding in a pool. Twice.”
Homer grumbles… “Stupid Flanders! But Maaarge, it’s all dried up now. And it’s a Canyonero! And when he has to run, it really purrs. Almost as nice as you on date night… Rowwrr!”
“Absolutely not, Homie! We have two perfectly good cars, and that’s that!”

Now that you’ve survived that, I expect the conversation in Redmond went about the same. Like Krusty’s Canyonero, Jimmy G is flashy, expensive and has a lot of miles. The Seahawks may not have a top-notch QB, but that’s true. I’m not going to claim that Geno Smith or Drew Lock is in the top ten in the league. But Jimmy G isn’t in the top ten either. Smith was even ahead of Garoppolo in completion, TD, INT percentage and passer rating. Garoppolo led the way in other categories, that’s true. But the difference between them in no way justifies the contract Garoppolo would get in 2023. If he can’t earn a huge contract before 2023, he’s not worth signing in 2022. Don’t waste your used cars elsewhere.